Two guys, one girl, a lot of emotions and million of discussions, in a year a lot of things can happen, a lot of things can change, an important relation can be ruined and you can realize who your real friends are.
- My best guy friend – Jence
- The cousin – Matthew
- Author, Me – Clarissa
- My best girl friend – Danielle
There was this boy, one of my best friends, we were talking as usually at the middle of the night, when he started to talk about a guy just like that so randomly, he told me lots of good things about him, his experiences and where he had already traveled. The next day, it was school day, we talked normally until he mentioned that guy again, we were in french class when he told me that the guy he was talking about yesterday was his cousin and he was going to get into our high school, at first I just say that it was cool, because of the things he told me it seemed that he was an interesting guy, then I just realized that I knew a lot about him without even knowing who he was, so I asked why he told me all of that, and he just said that he wanted me to be his cousins friend.
Days pass by until we saw this guy presenting the entrance exam in the guiding counselors office, I just commented that the guy was good-looking, when we kept walking to our classroom Jence told me that he was his cousin, so I just shut and keep walking until we arrived to the classroom when Jence tried to talk to me about what I said before, I just changed the conversation talking about a movie. At the end of the day Jence sent me a message asking if I really thought that his cousin was good-looking, I had to admit that he really was, so I just said yes, and that was the key word that changed everything…
There’s something in life called fate, and it’s when we don’t know what can happen to us, we don’t know who’s going to stay, who’s going to leave, who’s going to let us down, sometimes we just have to keep living our life and let some things happen.
Today I had like a kind of fight with my best friend & I just wanted to run and throw everything away. There’s nothing as complicated as trying to be something more with your best friend, at first I thought that it actually wasn’t that difficult at all, but for now I can say, for real that is something extremely difficult.
Loving someone this much can bring some complications into a relationship, best friends are supposed to stay that way, but to be honest sometimes one of them would fall for the other and maybe at a wrong time. We should be ready for things like this, I honestly didn’t knew what to do, I was so stuck with someone else that I didn’t figure things out about how I was really feeling. Today when he told me that nothing more was going to happen between us because he didn’t have the plan of having a girlfriend just broke me, and I don’t know if it was because I actually thought that my best friend would never do that, he would never break me or because I really like him & I actually wanted to try something with him.
I still don’t know what to think, or how to feel, maybe time will decide what is best for me, for him, for us, but for now maybe all I have to do is forget about everything that happened and just talk like best friends are supposed to talk.
Sometimes we don’t choose who will be our first kiss, who we will be in love with, who will make our world disappear, sometimes it can be a stranger come out of nowhere, sometimes it can be a friend, sometimes it can be our best friend.
While you’re thinking about someone else, just a guy, the guy with the one you talk at night, the one you think is the one, you’re not noticing that your best friend, with the one that you spend most of the time is actually in love with you.
For me, it’s incredibly difficult to think about my best friend as a boyfriend, btw he kissed me, and I’m still trying to figure how to forget it, I don’t want to lose him cause I really love him so much, but thinking about the fact of the kiss I can barely think about him.
What am I supposed to do? What if I actually like him back? What if I still have feelings for the other guy? What will happen if I give my best friend a chance, would it be a good option or I’ll be ruining everything we have?
Maybe I’ll just have to wait until something comes along to my mind & makes me realize what should I do through this mess.
Today I was just laying in my bed and start seeing Awkward, an extremely great TV show by the way, it sometimes helps me to realize some things that happen in my life, all those awkward situations… at the end of the 7th episode I just shut down my laptop and grab my phone and start typing to this guy, explaining a bunch of the dumbest things we did, I don’t know how a TV show can give me the courage I needed to say what I think or feel, I’m just shaking right now, because this was so awkward, and maybe I’ll regret about it, but for now I feel FREE, saying all those things are such a satisfying feeling I can’t even believe I really did it. I’m literally laughing out loud without any reason, maybe that’s all I really needed to tell him how I felt & my thoughts about us.