Two feelings that are extremely hard to control. They can make you turn into another person. Someone who you actually don’t want to be. Controlling them, it’s just as difficult as jumping from an airplane when you’re afraid of heights.
I’ve already written something about my anxiety and how to deal with it. But gosh, recently I’ve been having a lot of trouble controlling anger. I’ve always been a girl who hides emotions, cause for me that’s what makes me feel stronger and not vulnerable at all. I know that maybe I should not be that way. Keeping every single feeling to myself and do not let me cry when I want to, can provoke some harm in future times. I’ve tried a lot of things to keep away my anger. Sometimes it works, others, not that much.
Have you had that feeling you just want to leave everything and run away? Well, that happens to me when I cannot control myself, specifically my emotions. I know sometimes we want to do some things and they turn out to be misplaced. Maybe faith do not want us to have those things, or maybe we just need to try harder to get them.
Along the time, I’ve been researching ways to control inner self-control and emotions that can make us make bad decisions. I’ve found interesting things that may or may no help us all. I list them down below.
- Think before you speak or make a decision: Sometimes when we are angry, we don’t visualize every single detail of the situation that is happening. We just focus on the problem that is bothering us. We need to see ahead the bubble and do not let emotion take our decisions. Cause later we will regret them.
- Try a relaxing bath: After a hard day of work or school or college. Take a relaxing bath put on some music that you like the most and create that background that gets you in a good mood.
- Make a Playlist: Lots of people tend to be music lovers. Well, if you are one of them try making a new playlist that will make you smile as soon as you hear it. Dont try to list popular music, list the kind of music that you totally and actually like, Your mood can change with good music.
- Pamper yourself: Even if you are a girl or a guy try to embrace yourself. Nothing can give you the power to love yourself. Just YOU. Try exfoliation your face, put on mask, try a new lotion, eat a candy or chocolate that you love. Be Creative.
- Go out with Friends: Use that negativity and turn it into posivity. Go out and have fun like there is no tomorrow.
Two guys, one girl, a lot of emotions and million of discussions, in a year a lot of things can happen, a lot of things can change, an important relation can be ruined and you can realize who your real friends are.
- My best guy friend – Jence
- The cousin – Matthew
- Author, Me – Clarissa
- My best girl friend – Danielle
There was this boy, one of my best friends, we were talking as usually at the middle of the night, when he started to talk about a guy just like that so randomly, he told me lots of good things about him, his experiences and where he had already traveled. The next day, it was school day, we talked normally until he mentioned that guy again, we were in french class when he told me that the guy he was talking about yesterday was his cousin and he was going to get into our high school, at first I just say that it was cool, because of the things he told me it seemed that he was an interesting guy, then I just realized that I knew a lot about him without even knowing who he was, so I asked why he told me all of that, and he just said that he wanted me to be his cousins friend.
Days pass by until we saw this guy presenting the entrance exam in the guiding counselors office, I just commented that the guy was good-looking, when we kept walking to our classroom Jence told me that he was his cousin, so I just shut and keep walking until we arrived to the classroom when Jence tried to talk to me about what I said before, I just changed the conversation talking about a movie. At the end of the day Jence sent me a message asking if I really thought that his cousin was good-looking, I had to admit that he really was, so I just said yes, and that was the key word that changed everything…
There’s something in life called fate, and it’s when we don’t know what can happen to us, we don’t know who’s going to stay, who’s going to leave, who’s going to let us down, sometimes we just have to keep living our life and let some things happen.
Today I had like a kind of fight with my best friend & I just wanted to run and throw everything away. There’s nothing as complicated as trying to be something more with your best friend, at first I thought that it actually wasn’t that difficult at all, but for now I can say, for real that is something extremely difficult.
Loving someone this much can bring some complications into a relationship, best friends are supposed to stay that way, but to be honest sometimes one of them would fall for the other and maybe at a wrong time. We should be ready for things like this, I honestly didn’t knew what to do, I was so stuck with someone else that I didn’t figure things out about how I was really feeling. Today when he told me that nothing more was going to happen between us because he didn’t have the plan of having a girlfriend just broke me, and I don’t know if it was because I actually thought that my best friend would never do that, he would never break me or because I really like him & I actually wanted to try something with him.
I still don’t know what to think, or how to feel, maybe time will decide what is best for me, for him, for us, but for now maybe all I have to do is forget about everything that happened and just talk like best friends are supposed to talk.
Today I was just laying in my bed and start seeing Awkward, an extremely great TV show by the way, it sometimes helps me to realize some things that happen in my life, all those awkward situations… at the end of the 7th episode I just shut down my laptop and grab my phone and start typing to this guy, explaining a bunch of the dumbest things we did, I don’t know how a TV show can give me the courage I needed to say what I think or feel, I’m just shaking right now, because this was so awkward, and maybe I’ll regret about it, but for now I feel FREE, saying all those things are such a satisfying feeling I can’t even believe I really did it. I’m literally laughing out loud without any reason, maybe that’s all I really needed to tell him how I felt & my thoughts about us.