Tag: #Feelings

What Being in Love Means?

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You know that feeling, when you start liking someone so much, that even your heart hurts. That exhausting feeling. Knowing that nothing is going to happen, and still be there. Thoughts about that relationship that might never be. Being positive and trying to go ahead and think that it might me a chance to be together. Trying not to shut every possibility of having a happy ending, instead of a broken heart. Feeling that you are not enough for the other one. That you need to try harder to get their attention. That hard feeling that is better known as “being in love”.

Is having a craving for being with that person. Wanting to get involved with them. Being around them. Keeping the feeling alive. That look, that can show more feelings that million words. Giving the best of you. Never giving up on them and always making them feel loved. Feeling butterflies every time you are going to see each other. That big smile when you recieve their message. The way you just feel knowing that you are capable of loving. Being around everytime you need each other. Respect their decisions. Being aware of the other one every single day.

Being in love, means that you really want someone, not because of their look, but because of their soul. You dont care anymore about their flaws. The only thing you see is perfection. You dont care how good or bad they are. It just seems that they always do the right thing. Being in love, means loving every single inch of that one person and be proud of who they are, no matter what.

 

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Anxiety & Anger

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Two feelings that are extremely hard to control. They can make you turn into another person. Someone who you actually don’t want to be. Controlling them, it’s just as difficult as jumping from an airplane when you’re afraid of heights.

I’ve already written something about my anxiety and how to deal with it. But gosh, recently I’ve been having a lot of trouble controlling anger. I’ve always been a girl who hides emotions, cause for me that’s what makes me feel stronger and not vulnerable at all. I know that maybe I should not be that way. Keeping every single feeling to myself and do not let me cry when I want to, can provoke some harm in future times. I’ve tried a lot of things to keep away my anger. Sometimes it works, others, not that much.

Have you had that feeling you just want to leave everything and run away? Well, that happens to me when I cannot control myself, specifically my emotions. I know sometimes we want to do some things and they turn out to be misplaced. Maybe faith do not want us to have those things, or maybe we just need to try harder to get them.

Along the time, I’ve been researching ways to control inner self-control and emotions that can make us make bad decisions. I’ve found interesting things that may or may no help us all. I list them down below.

  1. Think before you speak or make a decision: Sometimes when we are angry, we don’t visualize every single detail of the situation that is happening. We just focus on the problem that is bothering us. We need to see ahead the bubble and do not let emotion take our decisions. Cause later we will regret them.
  2. Try a relaxing bath: After a hard day of work or school or college. Take a relaxing bath put on some music that you like the most and create that background that gets you in a good mood.
  3. Make a Playlist: Lots of people tend to be music lovers. Well, if you are one of them try making a new playlist that will make you smile as soon as you hear it. Dont try to list popular music, list the kind of music that you totally and actually like, Your mood can change with good music.
  4. Pamper yourself: Even if you are a girl or a guy try to embrace yourself. Nothing can give you the power to love yourself. Just YOU. Try exfoliation your face, put on mask, try a new lotion, eat a candy or chocolate that you love. Be Creative.
  5. Go out with Friends: Use that negativity and turn it into posivity. Go out and have fun like there is no tomorrow.

 

Teenage Love 

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Sometimes we don’t choose who will be our first kiss, who we will be in love with, who will make our world disappear. Sometimes it can be a stranger come out of nowhere, sometimes it can be a friend, sometimes it can be your closest pal.

Teenage love; it can be rough sometimes, it makes us feel happy, angry, sad & a lot of more things. Thinking about love at this age is just as difficult as a calculus test, even more difficult sometimes. We want to know what the other one is thinking. What does he or she feels. We want to know the truth. We want to know what is really going on. But we need to be honest, that does not happens that often at this age. Several times it’s just a quick moment that feels good and that’s all.

Love is one of the most powerful things in the world, at the end of the day it’s what keep us humans. Love can be criticized in many ways, but what some people don’t understand is that teenage love can be a little bit rushed out but it can be real in certain cases. There are teenagers that have experienced what real love is. They have had the opportunity of learning along their short life, maybe luck, maybe destiny. And they have had a really good time.

On the other hand, there are the ones that at a short age don’t really know the meaning of love. Some of us think it’s all about having someone around and brag about it. I certainly don’t know what real love is. I think it depends a lot on how it has been presented to each one of us since we were little. A true definition is made up by every single one of us.

Lets be honest. How many times we’ve said were in love with someone without knowing that person that much? At some point everyone, no matter the age, has had imagined a whole story with the crush of the moment. Awkward, but true.

Teenage love is one of the most amazing things to experiment. We can make mistakes. We learn from those first loves. We become a better person for the other. We try our best. Enjoy every single moment of love in your life, no matter if it is short or long. What matters is that you actually get the most out of it.

Love like you’ve never been hurt.

Love, Rosie

Love, Rosie

We all have that one movie that makes us feel a lot of things at the same time. Well, for me Love, Rosie is personally one of the most amazing movies I’ve ever seen. It shows how a truly friendship can beat any obstacle no matter what. Love is the weapon against everything. This movie does not only refers to love as in a romantic way, it includes family, passion and friendship. Different perspectives of what love can be, are shown.

Family love; because despite the mistake she made, they all stick together till the end. Family will always be there for you, no matter how hard the situation can get.

Couple love; sometimes it doesn’t last as much as people want to, it can be hard to find and to keep that spark alive.

Friendship love; one of the most difficult types of love may I add. Finding someone you can share everything with, can be hard. Now a days, finding a real friend can be very unlikely. We don’t know who we can trust and who is not good enough for us. Sometimes feelings get along the way, romantic ones, not the ones that friends are supposed to feel. Friendship can be ruined because of different feelings about each other, one may feel something stronger than the other one. Misunderstandings happen and they change everything.

I love this movie, actually it is my favorite one. Why? Because I can relate to it. I’ve had lots of guy friends, they all help me, be there when I need them, but at the end feelings came across and those ruin everything. I know that it is supposed to be kept the way it is, no matter what. Best friends will always stick together, but when stronger romantic love comes on the way it changes. I also relate on the family part. I’ve always been supported by them, no matter what, they are there for me. And finally i relate on the fact that I’m able to feel loved by my friends and family and there’s no way I’ll like to change that.

“No matter where you are or what you are doing or who you are with, I will always honestly, truly, completely love you” -Rosie.

Hidden Emotions

Many people have called me “insensitive”, “You have no feelings”, “You don’t care about anything or anyone besides yourself.” I’ve listen all of those at least 1000 times on the last years.

The thing is; I hide my emotions for myself, sharing them it’s like failing me. I do not show my feelings to anyone, if I do they must be really important and trustable. When I cry, it’s because I’m really overwhelmed and I need to. Is not that I like to do it that often. There are those days when I’m just sick of all the crap people throw, when I cannot hold anymore my emotions.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but sometimes I just feel like my chest is going to explode internally. I can actually feel all my emotions at once. Then the crying and crisis starts. My breath starts to fail a little, I feel a hole all over me, I cannot remember why I’m feeling that way. It just happens. I just need a movie, a serie, a book or a song and it will start.

My mom says “Hiding your feelings and keeping them, its bad for your health. You overwhelm your body and until you can’t keep those emotions there, is when your break. Stop that. Remember is for your own good.” I know she’s right, but I just feel vulnerable when I show something. I just can’t let it happen. I know it might sound crazy, but I’ve tried and instead of feeling better it gets worst.

My advice; find a way to give away those hidden emotions, we all need somehow to let them out. I will keep searching the best option for me and not overwhelm my body. I hope we all find our way out for this.

I may be quiet, but there is a lot on my mind

Love Triangle: Part I

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Epilogue:

Two guys, one girl, a lot of emotions and million of discussions, in a year a lot of things can happen, a lot of things can change, an important relation can be ruined and you can realize who your real friends are.

Characters:

  • My best guy friend – Jence
  • The cousin – Matthew
  • Author, Me –  Clarissa
  • My best girl friend – Danielle

Chapter I

October, 2015

There was this boy, one of my best friends, we were talking as usually at the middle of the night, when he started to talk about a guy just like that so randomly, he told me lots of good things about him, his experiences and where he had already traveled. The next day, it was school day, we talked normally until he mentioned that guy again, we were in french class when he told me that the guy he was talking about yesterday was his cousin and he was going to get into our high school, at first I just say that it was cool, because of the things he told me it seemed that he was an interesting guy, then I just realized that I knew a lot about him without even knowing who he was, so I asked why he told me all of that, and he just said that he wanted me to be his cousins friend.

November, 2015

Days pass by until we saw this guy presenting the entrance exam in the guiding counselors office, I just commented that the guy was good-looking, when we kept walking to our classroom Jence told me that he was his cousin, so I just shut and keep walking until we arrived to the classroom when Jence tried to talk to me about what I said before, I just changed the conversation talking about a movie. At the end of the day Jence sent me a message asking if I really thought that his cousin was good-looking, I had to admit that he really was, so I just said yes, and that was the key word that changed everything…

Anxiety Problems 

Overthinking

Anxiety has been a problem since I started high school. I’ve already have had several break downs. Even, I had to go to the hospital because of it.

Over thinking is one of the most common symptoms I have when I’m going to start with an anxiety break down. My head starts hurting like hell, I just can’t focus on anything; every single problem, memory, person comes through my mind at the same time. My heart starts racing, I feel tightening on the chest, my breathing starts to go faster and restlessness.

There are some nights when I just can’t sleep, so I just start watching YouTube videos. Which are basically about my favorite tv series or movies. I just end up crying out my eyes without any reason. Why? Because information gets stuck in our heads, like we need to check out every single thing that happens to us. Movies and TV shows, personally affect me a lot when I’m going through a similar situation. Feeling like nobody cares or likes you because some foolish reasons. Being paralyzed by a new project or presentation or experience. That feeling of loneliness and darkness living among us in this big world.

I’ve been trying to deal with this problem. There are such things that actually work for me:

  • Listening to music without headphones: The reason is, if I start with earphones I just get lost and my head starts to hurt again, so when my anxiety has already slow down a little, I just put earphones on.
  • Smell peppermint; this actually helps me a lot, so I can relax and slow down my breathing and my thoughts start to vanish.
  • Close my eyes and start breathing slowly; just deep breaths can calm me down. Trying not to think on anything else, just focusing on my own breathing.
  • Write in a journal: Maybe this sounds so cliché, but believe me it actually works a lot. Expressing yourself to you in a book is relaxing. You leave all the darkness among those words you are writing.
  • Sleep; this is the cure for a full mind. Get some sleep and when you wake up you are going to feel better.

Honestly, what mostly works for me, its music. I don’t know what I would do without it. I’m basically listening to music every single day, every single time. When I have this break downs all I can do is play my Shawn Mendes songs and just focus on his voice. I don’t know how his voice can control my anxiety, its like magic, I swear. When everything gets calm I start listening to my focus playlist on Spotify, and my anxiety goes away for the night and the next day.

I know how this thing can make you feel sad and angry and frustrated all at the same time. But believe me, find those things that can make you feel better. You’ll go through them and you’ll feel better, I know that its hard, but remember that you’re the only one that can control it, so don’t be afraid and fight against those anxiety break downs that makes us feel the most vulnerable person in the world, cause we are not. I highly recommend to try out those things I mention before. Maybe you have that one artist or that one person that can help you get calm. Do not hesitate to listen to his or her voice or call that friend that has been always there for you. No matter what. Anyway, if you think ou don’t have anybody. You can come to me. My blog is open for everybody in this world. I will listen, and if it is on my power I will help you go trough all the rough stuff. I am al ears, do not hesitate. Just leave me a message or a comment down below.

Dont worry, you are not alone in this. Lots of people tend to have this anxiety problems. But with HOPE, LOVE, FRIENDSHIP & SELF-ESTEEM everything can turn from black to a beautiful rainbowed color.