Many people have called me “insensitive”, “You have no feelings”, “You don’t care about anything or anyone besides yourself.” I’ve listen all of those at least 1000 times on the last years.
The thing is; I hide my emotions for myself, sharing them it’s like failing me. I do not show my feelings to anyone, if I do they must be really important and trustable. When I cry, it’s because I’m really overwhelmed and I need to. Is not that I like to do it that often. There are those days when I’m just sick of all the crap people throw, when I cannot hold anymore my emotions.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but sometimes I just feel like my chest is going to explode internally. I can actually feel all my emotions at once. Then the crying and crisis starts. My breath starts to fail a little, I feel a hole all over me, I cannot remember why I’m feeling that way. It just happens. I just need a movie, a serie, a book or a song and it will start.
My mom says “Hiding your feelings and keeping them, its bad for your health. You overwhelm your body and until you can’t keep those emotions there, is when your break. Stop that. Remember is for your own good.” I know she’s right, but I just feel vulnerable when I show something. I just can’t let it happen. I know it might sound crazy, but I’ve tried and instead of feeling better it gets worst.
My advice; find a way to give away those hidden emotions, we all need somehow to let them out. I will keep searching the best option for me and not overwhelm my body. I hope we all find our way out for this.
I may be quiet, but there is a lot on my mind