My Constant Nightmare

Every single night I used to have this nightmare, it all began when I started reading those Shadowhunters series, but first let me tell you something, I can’t remember anything from my past, I’ve already forgotten every single thing that happened to me during my childhood, the only thing I can remember its a little boy, this guy that appears in every single dream I have, the problem it’s that I don’t even know his name, he’s just there as a grown up guy, but I know that he’s the little boy I remember from my childhood.

How can the books relate with my nightmare? In the book Clary can’t remember her past until she discovers she’s into the Shadowhunter world, when she’s with the silent brothers and the Soul-Sword, she starts to remember little fragments of her life, while reading that scene I actually started remembering some of mine too, creepy huh!

The dream always starts the same way, I’m in a kind of college with that guy, btw we are actually in a romantic relationship which is weird af, we just go to my normal high school and keep with a normal life, there we are just as normal teenagers living their lives.

This guy has Jace attitude, he’s just so sarcastic, mean, selfish but also he has that sensitive side he’s so caring and honest and charming, also he’s good-looking. I’ve tried finding this guy, with this characteristics but I just can’t, I try to remember but nothing seems to be real. But that’s not all the relation I’ve seen, Teen Wolf is also part of this, the tv show series have something that actually made me freak the most, the first part of last season talks about remembering, everything it’s about remembering this guy, it talks about the girl who’s trying to remember the guy, she knows he’s real but she can’t see him at all, only with her supernatural skills and in her dreams, after trying a lot he actually find the way to come back and they get together just the way they were meant to be.

In my case that hasn’t happened yet, I don’t know if its going to happen, he talks to me in all those dreams, he whispers things but when I wake up I just can’t remember anything about him or what he said last night, I don’t even remember his face, just the back of his head and simple characteristics like hair and skin color, I take it as a nightmare cause dreaming about someone you love, like really love, but without knowing who the hell he is, it’s just a nightmare for me, the most scaring thing it’s that I know that I have already met him before, there’s something blocked in my head which makes me get stuck in my last memories and not the first ones, I’ve tried a lot of things but nothing happens, maybe at the end of this high school year and when I head off to college I might find him or maybe it’s just that, a constant nightmare.

*I chose that photo because he looks like the guy I’m talking about* 

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College Part II

College

This is the beginning of something new, new opportunities, new friends, new experiences, it’s the beginning of a completely new life for me.

I was suffering like crazy because I didn’t knew where to go to college, I had trouble with picking up a good one without spending a lot of money. At the end everything that I went through during those hard 4 months were worth it, now I’m extremely sure which is the path I’m going to follow.

I’m actually heading off to another state from Mexico, I’m nervous because its going to be something I’ve never experienced before, but thinking about the situation made me realized that this is what I really want.

I also got a good scholarship, I’m excited about this whole thing, now I have to learn lots of things but I have the feeling that this is going to be one of the most amazing experiences in my whole life.

What I’ve learned about this? Well, first of all its that family is going to be there always for you no matter which decisions you make if those decision make you happy then they will understand. Second, when you really want something and you fight for it you achieve it, really I can truly say that working so hard on this whole college stuff has thought me like a lot an at the end I reached my goal. And the last thing is that I’ve learned that not always you’re going to gain every single thing as fast as you think, sometimes you have to work harder to achieve them, we are all capable of reaching our goals, we just have to try to trust in ourselves.

I can proudly say, I DID IT! And there’s no more satisfaction than knowing where you’re going to conclude your student life. My last advice is to focus on what you really want and do it for yourself not someone else cause at the end you’re the one whose gonna live that life.

Best Friends 

We all have that one best friend that appeared from nowhere, the one that you never thought that could actually be your best friend, and if you haven’t… wait for it, one day, the most unexpected day someone will walk from that door & a new friendship would start going on.
Here’s a list which I made out by researching on We Heart It & Pinterest, maybe this can be your best friend goals wish list too:

  • Buy matching bracelets or necklaces.
  • Have a movie marathon.
  • Go on a shopping spree.
  • Fishtail your hair together.
  • Have a sleepover.
  • Have photo shoots together.
  • Start a book of memories.
  • Go on a road trip.
  • Recreate Best Friends photos from Social Media.
  • Have a road trip.
  • Have a paint fight.
  • Use the same outfit.
  • Have a fancy dinner on Christmas.
  • Make a Karaoke afternoon.
  • Have a midnight conversation about your feelings.
  • Let each other chose an outfit & use it for a day, without changing anything.
  • Do each others makeup.
  • Get matching tattoos (including henna ones 😂)

This can also be for a group of friends, or family, it’s doesn’t really matter,what matter is that you have a great time with all your pals, have fun & enjoy every single minute you’re surrounded by all of those who you love.

If you have more goals to complete go ahead, also you can comment down below and share me some of the goals you want me to include. Also I create a collection on my We Heart It Account, if you wanna check it out I’ll leave the link here Best Friend Goals.

Don’t give up if you haven’t found those best friends, one day you’ll realize that they’ve been there all the time, just take a minute and figure out who the real ones are.

Dear: Lost Friend 

Many things can change in a day, in an hour or in few minutes, we don’t know what’s gonna happen next, who we are going meet or who is going to forget about us.

Everything that happens it’s because of a reason, I would love to know the truth about almost every single word you used to say. I just want to know if all those conversations were real or just a part of your show.

I have to be honest with you, sometimes when I don’t have anything to do, I just look back to those days when we spent a lot of time together, told each other lots of things, joke around everything and even when we made future plans, those which were extremely crazy I have to admit, I miss you like a lot, but I can’t keep begging for you to come back when clearly you don’t want to.

I may have lost one of my best friends, but I can say that every single minute I spent with you was one of the best, even though the fights, the crying nights and the hard times and I don’t regret anything about it.

I wish you the best I can, I don’t want to leave you behind, but babe I have to, it’s for the best, I wish we could get back to those days, but sometimes not everything we wish comes true, be safe and care about you, cause I won’t let you come back to my life again.

Sincerely, the girl you used to call best friend.

“It’s going to be hard, but hard it’s not impossible”

 

Just Simple Mistakes 

Some situations can turn out to be extremely difficult, sometimes we think that life is just unfair, that we deserve better things, I know that being a teenager can be really difficult and people may not understand us at all.

But life it’s about knowing by yourself what we are here for, we need to learn from mistakes, each path we choose is what makes us who we are now, every single decision is for a reason, maybe for the moment we think that we don’t deserve what happened but at the end of the day we have to realize that somethings are just meant to be that way.

With the past of the years, I’ve learned that if I didn’t have made that mistakes I may not have learned about the situation, to me making mistakes it’s what makes us humans, with them we can know how life can be, it helps us to reach a new path, reach a good life, reach our objectives, don’t be mad at yourself forever about what you did, instead of being angry and frustrated all the time, try to encourage yourself to make a plan and revert that mistake into your favor, maybe it’s hard but you’ll realize that you inner peace will emerge as soon as you’re fine with your decisions and your mind will not make that mistake again.

Trust and think before you act, that can make a big difference while deciding your final option, take in count the risk and if at the end you didn’t choose the correct one, fix it and keep going with your life, because life it’s too short to worry about it all the time.

Wordless

loneliness

Things happen in an unexpected way, sometimes you decide what to do, sometimes you don’t.

I’m a teenager, I have anxiety problems which makes me vulnerable in certain situations, sometimes I just act in a deliberately way without thinking, sometimes I just over think every single thing I’m going through, or I would like to do.

There’s a big difference between imagination and over thinking, when I imagine there are actually good situations, every thing is placed in a positive way. On the other hand over thinking just makes me feel more anxious and insecure, there are just some nights I can’t get enough sleep and I just start to think and think till I can’t figure an emergency exit from it.

Sometimes it actually helps me to understand that not everything we do it’s the right thing, but there are those ones when you don’t even know the reason of why you did it and you just can get the idea out of your mind.

Lots of things happen in our daily life but we have to understand that we are humans and we’re not perfect, I forget that myself sometimes, but it’s just a real and deep quote for me. I know that sometimes situations get harder but we still need to try to go through them, because this is the life we are living and we’re here because this is our destination.

Always remember that life can put us a lot of obstacles and if we can go through them we’ll achieve everything we’ve always needed or wanted.

Dear Boys

Writing
I’ve got some question about how boys know what to do in some love situations how do they know what it’s the right thing to do and if it’s the right girl, I really sometimes don’t understand a thing of it, even though I have more guy friends than girl friends.

Maybe I’m overreacting or just being paranoid, when guys kiss a girl that it’s supposed to be a really good friend to you actually just did it because of the hormones or because you really wanted to do it.

I’ve been struggling with this actually, it has been a controversial topic between girls, we think that maybe we are the ones that give them the chance to do it, kiss us, but what does it really means to you guys, I know that we’re in the age of being around the world checking for the new ones to flirt with them, but when you already have a good boy-girl friendship and you just kissed does it really just have to go away every single thing done along all those last years or it’s just a paranoia thing some of the girls have.
I would like that some guys could tell us and helps us find what to do in this kind of situations, what it’s the best thing to do and why?