There was a time when I used to watch only action and comedy genre movies. My interest for romantic movies was null. Until one sudden day I played Love Rosie and it changed my life completely. Since that day, I started to watch at least three times a week a romantic movie. It was crazy, all of my friends used to say I was always watching movies, and I really was.
After a while movies started changing my perspective on love. I never really thought about love in a romantic way. I never tried to get a guy’s attention at all. But there’s a first time for everything, right? Unexpectedly, I started with this thing where I thought about the perfect guy and the perfect date and a whole perfect relationship. Until I realize I was going too far with this imagination relationship thing. I started getting discouraged, I was desperate to find out why any guy wanted me as a girlfriend, and sometimes I still have that rough thought. I haven’t found that one guy yet. The guy who is supposed to give you all the feels and the stomach butterflies. Even now I have some dreams about finding this perfect guy and everything turns out so well. But the thing is I can’t keep living an imaginary love life.
I’m self-conscious about a lot of things, but this one has really been stuck for a while now. I think watching all this romantic movies has been affecting me in a way. I expect to much but I can’t find it. Maybe I’m trying to hard to find someone who loves me and I love him back, but I’m not ready at all. Maybe I need to stop searching and start letting things take place the way they need to be. Maybe I need to experience other types of love first. Maybe what I have now, is what I need to have in this moment. Maybe I need to stop planning every single movement I make and start believing that GOD will give me what I need in the perfect timing. Maybe is everything in my head and million of things are happening while I’m laying in my bed trying to figure out something that’s out of my control. I know one day I’ll find the guy I need to find. Maybe I’m really not ready to be in a love relationship. Maybe I need to find myself first and maybe then suddenly a guy will cross my pad.